Thoughts Of a Supermodel Waiting For the Shoot To Start

Okay, whenever you're ready

Okay, how long’s it gonna be this time?
The freakin’ genius there has to get things
Ju-uuu-ust right
Before he’ll shoot a single freakin’ frame
Twitching the lights ten times
And moving them about an inch total
Adjusting the backdrop curtains
Getting the right amount of smoke in the air
And then deciding to do it all again!
While I’m sitting here, sewn into this corset of a dress
Cutting off the blood flow to my boobs
Wrinkles welding into my face from the boredom
My ass aching from sitting on a suitcase
And trying to decide what to cancel

I got a facial at noon instead of lunch
An hour with my therapist after that
(Which I’ll need after this jerk gets done!)
My agent wants his cut
Of the pennies I’ll get from this job
How far does he think only 500 grand can be spread??
And an hour or two at the gym
Killing myself to keep in shape
So I can do more sitting on my ass
Waiting for more geniuses to get their shot set up

I’d kill for a drink right now
’Cept the court’ll throw me in the slam
If they catch me crocked one more time
Not to mention the damn vultures in the street
Who don’t pay a dime to take my picture
Creaming themselves to catch me out
Like Lindsay after a party

Why did I decide to do this again…?
Oh, yeah
The glamour
The clothes
The money
The fame and excitement
The cover of Vogue
Lunches with Anna and Andre
Air kisses with Linda and Christie
Nights with Tom when he’s between wives
The clothes
The money

But I swear, five more minutes
and I’ll kick his —
Oh, you’re ready? Okay, darling, I’m coming.
(About freakin’ time!)

Harper Ganesvoort, 2013

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